We will all just gaze upon forgotten stars
remembering how we felt that night true.
Our mindless memories will find passages through our brains,
but not to haunt-
for we don't know how to haunt anymore.

We are carelessly dancing inside delightful bubbles
but, do remember that bubbles burst
and we as people burst along side with them.

Tiny people burst along side forgotten shores made of giant waves
along the shores of our mindless memories
from the stars that made our very lives feel true.

heavenly places spread along the depths of my mind
as I subside from a space left alone and dignified
oh how the colours turned to see the vast depths of the sea
oh how the stories of our lives intertwine with the fury who lived inside of me
how doeseth the sunrise do it all the time?
the orange with the yellow beside the red light
it was flourescently graceful, so thought the moonlight
so graceful that when we leave
we will have come and left as one
always existing
along the depths of the mind of the sun to someone.

That's not true because I don't always win
I reciprocate, bounce back from
(and then)
I see the light of day in a distant facade
where one meets one and two stays the same
I become blue; very unified with the moon
and its everlasting (or so they say)
the whimsical feet on the streets that play
for the children who sang in rejoice on sunday
for sunday
for sunday
but somehow I fell into today
(a daze) it might have been, I say
I tripped and lost my eyes
and my, I couldn't speak about the things
you said last night
but, we keep on keepin' on
bounce back from
(until then)
the earth begins to tremble,
but be reminded we are not weak
we are all just trembling
to the things that we think.

" who knows if the moon's
a balloon coming out of a keen city
in the sky--filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should
get into it, if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then
we'd go up higher with all the pretty people
than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing away and away
sailing into a keen city
which nobody's ever visited, where
always
it's
Spring)and everyone's
in love and flowers pick themselves "

- e. e.

Nightfall to sunrise
we sail like maniacs across the sky
with red glares from the whiskey caught in our eyes
we become sonnets casted onto thin lines
but, the fisherman never found no fish in the sea
they just found you
and then they found me
on a distant moon or inside a dark room
there's your hand and then there's mine

Nightfall to sunrise all of the time
Nightfall to sunrise-
I never mind

Oh Dear. Oh My.

What ever happened to the backbone of the beating hearts?
Was it betrayal & anguish that stole away our lives
or just curiosity that killed the cats in our minds?
And all of the time we will wonder . . .
All of the time we wonder why.

"But let no one reveal the world to us, for we acquire
oblivion, nothing but dreams of air,
and all that's left is an aftertaste of blood and dust
on the tongue: we swallow the memory
with wine and beer, so far, far from all that,
from the mother, from the land of our lives. "
- Pablo Neruda

Babalu at Midnight

I wanna go dancing, dancing, dancing
with Babalu in black and white.
I wanna float downstream across the moonlight.
He's always dancing, dancing in black and white-
bongo in hand; black cuban eyes.

Watch us go dancing in to paradise
before morning comes
to steal the night.

The things they've said about midnight are true
the shaping of the human mind into two.
Oh, the things it can do to me and you.
The things it does to Babalu.

I wanna go dancing, dancing, dancing
in black and white
underneath the florescent spotlights.
With his bongo in hand and dark cuban eyes
resembling something I found inside.

Let's keep dancing, Babalu, in our black and white stripes
until Time becomes the villain to steal away the night.
We'll smile towards each other and wave goodbye

This is Babalu and I at midnight.

To live and to breathe
that's life you see
for young flowers who boast away
on a chill October wednesday.

To laugh and behold
as our fathers were told
for lonely ones creeping
into the unknown.

To sigh and to die
like yours and mine
for people less speaking
to those on the side.

To always remember
but never to know
the darkest of secrets
that constitute a confusing soul

Bring me round' again
and load up the dock with all our canoes

so new to me
as I am to you

fill my eyes with starry skies
on a moonlight ride
at midnight.

From 2008 :

Sunday sets sail and we say, "away we go"

Stay far from the faces that break us
pounded by the fear of our days.

We lay sleeping in the stars and glance from afar
not knowing what's coming up behind us 

or running through the corners on some cracks
that don't have any meaning anymore.


The sad ones, the bad ones, the ones you call ill

steal and kill for their next meal to feel
,
but feelings for them are scattered,
bashed and tamed to not be real.

I weep for them.

I do pity the sorrow that is on my shoulder as I type.

Right now I could be elsewhere.

My shoulders would lift this heavy weight
and no longer will I see or hear the words spoken from a lonesome man
that I long for in the wee hours of the morning,
of the night,
and even in my dreams he lays-


but Sunday sets sail and we stay far away

The past encloses behind you
as the present unfolds in itself.
Neither can be tamed nor forgotten
thought of too long or too little.
We can only breach out toward our tomorrows
and sigh with the sea.
In all our endeavors there's many a reason
to explain the unexplainable doubts in our head
but all in all, according to the moon
(who tells only tales of solemn truth) :
there's no stopping nor transmuting
nor amending (too)
this thing called life
that which runs farther
yonder,
perpetually wiser
than you could ever dream
or do

On the ride back home
I pushed open to the sky
the memories I kept
of you and I

They floated away motionlessly
they floated all
d
o
w
n
stream
as I waved goodbye
it was a miraculous thing.

Spazio Ragazza

They all stare. the glare.
not of death but of disbelief
as to what they've seen.
She's an alien. An abnormally sacred antipodal
out of place
and never from the actual womb to which she came.
oh but that face.

Please come back down
to stay with us for awhile.
Awkward orbit girl.
to only leave again.

Am I a bad person because I left you so
out in the cold with your rain boots on?
My old love, my burning flame.
Is it the days that pass away that get you down?
Always crowded around the company of others.
The talk of the town in many ways.
That flameless shame of things
that could have been but died out too soon-
like a candle lit and licked in the month of September
Was it I who licked the candle or you?

We've been so afraid to lose that trying becomes wearisome, but once done
become
the most profound way to feel free again. I want that feeling.

Life aint easy when there's things to be lost
you take it as it comes
you bite it in the arse
"Well, this is just life" they say and sway
we hope it'll get better soon one day

ventidue

Birthday Birthday. I've made it another year!
These pictures are from LAST birthday, which turning 21 is always a little more exciting than turning 22, but the night is still young and so am I.

sette, settembre: Mi Amore

I need to know you are okay (if at all) mi amore
on this very 7th settembre day
so I can gently close my eyes tonight
and make dreams of our forgotten waves
(of our yesterdays)

"I wear my scars like the rings on a pimp, I live life like the captain of a sinking ship"

"I keep steerin us into an area thats shallow
Talkin to my shadow, he advised me not to worry
He said i should plant my tree and let it rise out of the fury
So give me some light, a little love and some liquid
Im gonna creep through the night
And put a plug in the spigot
And when the water grows
And the dam starts to overflow
Ill float atop the flood, holding on to my ugly"
- a t m o s p h e r e

Turning Pages

Day by day (growing away)
how fleeting
how freeing
to drift along shore memories
into a single mindless thought,
yet tomorrow
will be
a different story

"I want to go back
to that sure thing,
to home base, to the middle
of the stone mother
from which, I don't know how or when
I was torn away to be torn apart"
-Neruda

The Willow Tree

Weeping willow, weeping willow
sing to me, sing to me

I hadn't a care in the world with you
I only wanted to be you
to see the world through a tree

Weeping willow, do you weep?
For the love amongst the trees?

and in the light of day,
do you wish you'd stay
forever that way:
a lonely willow tree?

Weeping willow, sing to me.

"Like a great storm
we shook
the tree of life
down to the hiddenmost
fibers of the roots
and you appear now
singing in the foliage,
in the highest branch
that with you, we reach"
- Pablo Neruda

It's still summer and I've been enjoying every minute of it. My studious college day and daycare woman life seems like a distant memory in my mind. All this free time has been more than I could ever ask for. It's going to be difficult getting back into the swing of things, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless. I'm currently in Connecticut right now, trying to beat the Texas heat for these last few weeks of summer. The view, the breeze is more pleasant from up here. I'm especially enjoying the 85 degree weather.
Yesterday I took a boat ride with my aunt and cousins to an island off the coast of Connecticut. The water was bluer than what I had envisioned and the same goes for the color of the sand. I felt like I was in a Hemingway-esque novel or a Fitzgerald golden age paradise. I hadn't a care in the world in that moment and I couldn't help but wish to never return home, ever, but only to live forever lost, forever in paradise on that little island in the Atlantic.

and now for some film development...

"maggy and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
its always ourselves we find in the sea "

- e.e. cummings

KT,

You're like a rock that keeps on rolling; always soothing to your own beat. Through the deepest pits of the valley you roll unimaginably so. All the other rocks aspire to be you. They watch you from afar, and are, at many times (including myself) taken back by your kindness, loveliness-it is all so contagious. Every time those dark and downward paths cross your way, I've never seen you not able to roll yourself back up... and that is something that I've learned many other rocks cannot do. Only the strongest of the bunch. Only the best. Only you.

Here is the end of my small journey. The journey that seemed never ending at times, but did. The last long stretch towards the end of spring and college responsibilities. I can see the light of summer, but I must get through these last few days of somehow finding the focus and strength to pull through. Get it together. The end is near. The end is near. A new chapter begins.

"A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be. " - A Single Man












I enjoy going through Amy's computer and seeing what pictures she has/ I don't have...